Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I Saw The Signs

The end of the world is near, and proof is in the following signs:

Ano ba talaga, kuya? UK o USA?

The ultimate in Jolina-ism. I never knew toys are now ladies’ accessories.

My brother was so tempted to text the question: “What’s a buffalo doing on the third floor?” I on the other hand wanted to text: “Will it be cheaper if the buffalo were on a higher floor like, say, the fifth?”

Why anyone would want a placenta, much more from Mystica, is a mystery to me.

For a clothes shop the name is intriguing, but whose silhouette?

Why? Because mangoes are yellow? Because orange tastes better than mango? Things that make you go hmmm….

I suppose handicapped people wearing caps are easy to get in the bathrooms of Glorietta 2.

Say Hello... my new office laptop. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Little McMac. (Big McMac is at home, resting.)

This is the reason why I’ve not made an entry in several days. Our IT person took two full days(!) to program this new computer as well as transfer my files from the PC to here. So far I still have to upload my music to Little McMac, but that can wait ‘til the weekend. But as of today, I’m officially a MacHead.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Now Where Is My Angel?

(I got this from Marlon’s Livejournal.)

You Are Iceman

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible
A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers

Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible
Which of the X-Men Are You?


For the first time in a long while I went to Bed on a Friday evening where I had “fun” with a couple of Malaysians.

Hmmm, wait a minute. Something’s off. The sentence is correct, but… wait….

For the first time in a long while I went to Bed on a Friday evening where I had “fun” with a Malaysian couple.

There, that’s more accurate.

Both were in their early thirties. The older, more Pinoy-looking one approached me first. He’s like a darker, swarthier version of John Regala minus 500 pounds. We had already explored each other’s tongues when he then turned around and pointed to another guy deep-throating someone’s mouth in the middle of the dance floor. “That’s my boyfriend of six years,” he said.

Oh, I said.

His boyfriend disengaged himself and walked over to us. In fairness, he was cuter; he looks like a chinoy (I really like singkit guys) but more ‘noy than chi’ and a lot hunkier. In other words, between the two of them…

why not?!

Those two really made good the tagline, “Malaysia, truly Asia.”

Much, much later I spotted a friend by the bar, so I walked over to him to say hello. He slapped my shoulder and said, “I was going to say hello but I saw you had your mouth full. And with two guys!”

My defense? “Hey, they’re Malaysians and I’m just showing them our world-famous Filipino hospitality.”

He snorted, “Ah so! Are you saying it was just a friendly kiss?”

“Oh no!” I replied, “May malisya na yun! Este, may Malaysia pala, hahaha!”

Saturday, May 27, 2006


Yes, Nelz and Norm, I’m attending.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Mutant Movie

I just saw X-Men: The Last Stand at Greenbelt. Since most people haven’t seen it yet, I will only say this much:

[1] I like the fact that anyone killed stayed dead for the rest of the movie, or at least didn’t come back to life and helped save our heroes during the climactic battle.

[2] Having said that: ang corny ng pagkapatay ni ___________! At ni ___________! At ni… ehehehe, I’ll stop there na lang.

[3] I missed Nightcrawler. Was Alan Cummings too busy?

Yun na muna. Watch na kayo, and let the discussions begin.

* * * * *

Oh, and one more thing: DO NOT leave when the end credits start rolling. There’s an additional scene tucked in at the end. It explains how… well, I’ll just let you see it for yourself.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Apostrophe Catastrophe

For so long I have kept quiet. For so long I’ve held my tongue, played nice, looked the other way. No more.

There’s a fantastically hilarious book entitled Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by the wonderful Lynne Truss. In the back cover, she tells the following story:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

“I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

So punctuation really does matter, even if it is only occasionally a matter of life and death.

You see, Ms. Truss is on a crusade, one which I fully support. She’s always railed against such common horrors like “Two Weeks Notice” (What, no apostrophe? Horrors!) or “No dog’s allowed” or “The judges decision is final” with a fervor of a born again fanatic—but without the superiority attitude. Her attitude is classic stickler’s attitude: wrong is wrong and should be pointed out, if not corrected.

So in the spirit of Ms. Truss’s book let me say this: “we’re” is NOT the same as “were.”

May I repeat again for the second time in a row: “we’re” is NOT the same as “were.” If you can use “we are” or “we were” then it’s “we’re”, not “were.” That’s all there is to it. Saying that it’s the same banana is so not true. Don’t give bananas a bad rep; oh poor fruit. And saying, “Oh it’s just an online journal” also smacks of irresponsibility, carelessness and a willingness to do wrong. What next, gassing of Jews?

Please, please, please! The book is available at Powerbooks for less than five hundred bucks. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and get one. Then you can eat shoots before leaving.

* * * * *

Quote for the day: So many men, so little… interest in me.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

O, Ano? Gusto Mo?

To bioman and dmbp5237, I’ve already sent you a copy of “O, Ano?” by DJ House.

Now is anybody willing to advise me how I can upload the song so that people can just download it from there instead of the long email way?

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Outing, Part 2

Upon arrival at La Luz, things got better. We were just in time for lunch. People also checked out the accommodations—not bad, actually.

The beach is rocky more than sandy. And thanks to the recent typhoon, the waters were murkier than usual. But people were determined to enjoy what’s left of the day.

Nightfall and the people partied hard—as in, hard liquor. I had more brandy, Red Label, Kahlua, champagne, Chivas and tequila. I was cabana and table hopping too, playing in an “I have never ________” game, then participating in a discussion on ex-lovers, then joining a “name as many Hollywood movies with a person’s proper name in the title” game, then contributing to a discussion on “what is considered infidelity?” then repeating the whole thing again. And all the while I was trying to take night shots as well.

While listening to a group discuss to death the recent break-up between an officemate and her unfaithful ex, I fell asleep in an adjacent cabana. When I woke up, I was all alone. Damn.

By morning the sun was blazing, the sky was blue, the waters clear and calm. It was perfect for some sunbathing and a short, cool dip. Perfect!

One of our writers brought along her doll, and was taking pictures of her posing all over the beach.

On the way home the bus was much, much better—bigger, cooler and with a VCD player that showed the kung-fu movie “So Close.” But the traffic in Lipa and Calamba was baaad. So we made a short, unexpected stop-over.

Filipinos really love to play with names of establishments.

All in all, it was my first company outing in three years. It’s really fun, you know, this “outing” thing with your officemates. Really liberating.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Outing, Part 1

La Luz

We were on our way to La Luz Resort in Batangas. When we saw the bus, most of us were disappointed. It was an old one, the aircondition was spotty, there were no baggage compartments above the seats, and from Buendia til the Petron station along South Superhighway the driver was talking to some chick on his cellphone. The moment we made a stop-over our president instructed a change of buses. So we made a detour at the bus depot in Sta. Rosa where we switched buses.

La Lost

The second bus was bigger, the seats more comfortable. Plus there was a baggage area, so our legs weren’t cramped anymore. But the aircon took a very long time to cool, and even then its coolest was nowhere near the cool air of the first bus. Worse, the driver had no idea how to get to La Luz. The first driver gave him instructions but either he forgot them or the first driver was getting back at us. Instead of passing thru Lipa City we ended up in Batangas City. Worse, the bus broke down.

La Sloshed

We ended up renting three jeepneys to take us to La Luz. I decided to be a gentleman and let most of the ladies go ahead, so I ended up on the third jeepney with all boys except one girl (she wanted to ride with her boyfriend so she stayed behind). The driver was a pedal-to-the-floor speed devil. At first we were laughing at our misfortune, tossing jokes around like, “Sino ba ang may balat sa puwet dito, ha?!” Suddenly we heard this loud bang followed by a continuous clanking sound, like rubber rhythmically hitting metal. The driver stopped, looked under his vehicle, declared nothing seemed out of place, then proceeded to hit top speed again. Then the clanking sound came back, this time louder. So we stopped at a gas station and checked the rear left tire.

Sure enough, there was a huge gash.

Funny we should end up at a gas station named Saddam.

By this time it wasn’t funny anymore. But what could we do? Solution: drink brandy.

By the time we got to La Luz I had five shots of Gran Matador brandy on an empty stomach.

What a way to start a vacation.

Game KNB? 3

Teeeee ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti tee-ti teeee ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti tee-ti…! (to the tune of the “Game KNB” theme)

A great big shout-out to… Hasty Devil!

He heeded my request and introduced himself when he saw me in Bed last night. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Hasty Devil. I would not have recognized you because you look thinner in your pics. No, you’re not fat, okay? Hahaha! What I mean is that you look fuller and fitter in person than in your pictures.

He also told me about how he’s using the “Day away ang Mancom today” test and so far it has never failed him. Wow. The test already failed once for me, but my analysis is that the person who failed the test had just recently come out, so the way he views things is still in “straight” mode.

Earlier though, there were three guys who entered and saw me by the bar. One of them looked at me then turned to his companion who, after a few minutes—trying to make pasimple—he then turned to check me out. A few minutes later I noticed the third guy also looking in my direction. Nope, they didn’t have that “Oh, he’s my type, let’s pick him up!” look; it was more of the “Hey, is that McVie the blogger over there by the bar?” look.

So to those three, whoever you guys are, please identify yourselves here. Don’t be shy; I don’t bite. (I hate hickeys.)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Broadcast Advisory

Tomorrow and Friday is our company outing. We’ll be at a beach resort in Batangas. Unfortunately the weather isn’t sunny summer anymore. In one swift change the rainy season has arrived. Still, we’re all determined to have silly fun on the beach, especially on Thursday evening. I’m bringing my camera along, but with the head-scratching resort policy of imposing corkage on beer but not on hard liquor, we’ll be bringing out all of our vodkas and gins and wines and family rubbing alcohol after dinner. Heck, maybe even upon arrival. So expect crazy-angled shots when The McVie Show returns over the weekend. Or maybe expect no pics at all.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Email Shmemail

This morning everyone in the office received the following email below. It was forwarded by someone in our accounting department (figures!) who obviously needs to read more than just numbers and charts:

The DaVinci Code Lie Exposed

The movie "The DaVinci Code" staring Tom Hanks, directed by Ron Howard will soon be released this year. This movie will have the potential to deceive billions of the world's population. The story line attacks the very heart of the Gospel and attempts to destroy the very nature and character of the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of God. (Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against His anointed? Psalm 2:1, 2)

Satan knows his time is about up and now he will attempt to take one of his best shots by enlisting all of hell to belch out its worse deception in that of stripping Jesus Christ of His Divine nature and turning Him into a mere man who secretly marries Mary Magdalene.

It is time for Christians (the Body of Christ) everywhere to rise up and expose this lie from the pit of hell that will be perpetuated on the whole world in just a couple of short months. This is no time to back down in the "day of battle". It is a time to pray and fast like never before that God will raise up a standard against the enemy as He comes in like a flood. "..and this Gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come". Matthew 24:14

Pray that Christian lay people, prayer leaders, writers, pastors, and all those in Christian media outlets will get the message out and expose this deception of hell and reveal the lie this movie will present before it ever hits the theaters.

We can only say about Tom Hanks & Ron Howard "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" but to the enemy of the cross we can only declare to him, "go ahead take your best shot because your time is up and you will soon be cast into the lake of fire."

* * * * *

Upon reading it I immediately wrote my reply. But as soon as I finished it, I decided not to send it but posted it here instead:

"The DaVinci Code" Lies Exposed

The movie "The DaVinci Code" staring Tom Hanks, directed by Ron Howard will soon be released this year. This movie will have the potential to deceive billions of the world's population if the movie turns out to be less entertaining than what the trailer shows.

You see, the truth about the book and the movie is very simple: it's FICTION. It is filed under "fiction" in all bookstores. There's a book called "Cracking The DaVinci Code: You've read The Fiction, Now read The Facts" by James Garlow and Peter Jones. It's just a "what if" premise.

(sings ala-Charlene)
Hey, do you know what fiction is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be. But do you know what truth is? It's that little word on the side cover of the book that says "fiction". That's truth, that's... it. Period.

Satan knows his time is about up and now he will attempt to take one of his best shots by enlisting people who are gullible enough to think that "The DaVinci Code" is real and get them all worked up about... nothing. Absolutely nothing. Isa siyang malaking "Heller?!"

It is time for Christians (the Body of Christ) everywhere to rise up and expose this truth: there's nothing to be afraid of with "The DaVinci Dode". Anyone who is afraid of it needs a serious reality check. And a good whack on the head.

Pray that Christian lay people, prayer leaders, writers, pastors, and all those in Christian media outlets will get the message out and expose this truth before the movie ever hits the theaters: Anyone who takes the DaVinci Code seriously needs a good lay.

We can only say about Tom Hanks & Ron Howard "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" IF THEY DELIVER A LOUSY MOVIE!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Game KNB? 2

The McVie Show presents its newest game show segment: Catch McVie in Bed! Yes folks, to date I’ve been told by at least four viewers of The McVie Show that they’ve spotted me in Bed. Gosh, am I that notorious? Am I a Bed fixture already? Is my face overexposed here in the show? Am I making a molehill out of a mound?

Next time you spot me there, please, please, please introduce yourself. I’m not good at recognizing people live when I’ve only seen them previously on internet pics. Plus my memory is not as good as it was before—I suspect there’s just too much information (most of them useless trivia) overcrowding it. And, believe it or not but this is really true, I am actually a shy person. I just learned to be more sociably adept, but my real default mode is “shy and unassuming.”

(If there are shouts of dissent, they’re from people who really don’t know me that well.)

So stop and say “hi.” Don’t worry, I don’t bite. And you’ll be treated to a spectacle of me making a fool of myself by trying to figure out where I’ve seen you before. Pramis.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother’s Day Musings

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms! To them I dedicate the following song, “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen.

Mama, just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama, life has just begun.
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
Mama, oo-hoo-hoo!
Didn’t mean to make you cry.
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on
As if nothing really matters.

* * * * *

A gigabyte is bigger than a megabyte which is bigger than a kilobyte. So if Sharon is the Megastar, then is KC Cuneta the Kilostar? And who would qualify as the Gigastar? Then again, Sharon is also a Kilostar—as in lots and lots of kilos. And her husband can be the Kikostar.

* * * * *

There’s a song that RX93.1 currently plays (I often hear it played when I’m driving to work) by a certain DJ House. Or at least that’s what I think Chico & Delamar said one time (they almost never credit that song before or after they play it). I don’t even know the title of the song. It’s house music featuring snippets of dialogue from what seems to be an old Pinoy B-movie. Correction: an old Pinoy ST-movie. They’re the kind made in the late 70s and early 80s, back when the movie industry was trying to push the boundaries of the Marcos regime’s censorship laws.

The dialogue features a guy and a girl talking. The guy sounds suspiciously like the late Dindo Fernando during his ST years (I suppose projects were scarce and he accepted all these pa-suave DOM roles). While the girl reminds me of Deborah Sun or Azenith Briones in Joey Goseingfiao’s camp classic, Temptation Island. The girl sounds mataray all throughout the conversation but it’s obvious she’s flirting, while the guy is pa-suabe at modulated ang boses all throughout, as if nothing can throw him off. Their dialogue goes something like this:

GIRL: O, ano?! Ano’ng ginagawa mo rito?
GUY: I was looking for you.
GIRL: O, bakit?
GUY: Puwede ba tayong mag-usap?
GIRL: Sure! Saan mo gusto?
GUY: Sa lugar na malamig at tahimik.
GIRL: Tapos?
GUY: Well…! We’ll just take it from there. We can have dinner, listen to some music. Puwedeng sa loob ng bahay.
GIRL: Which part of the house? The bedroom?

Then the DJ repeats the line “The bedroom?” again and again like an echo, to hilarious effect. Then at the end of the song the music abruptly stops and the last lines are:

GIRL: (still mataray) Magdala ka ng sarili mong pajama.
GUY: (still pa-suave) Gud! I’ll buy one.

I tried looking for it in Limewire but no such luck. If someone knows how to get a copy, please tell me.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

The First Typhoon of 2006

Although the wind was howling outside, the rain was only a drizzle. So my brother, sister and I decided to have lunch at Antipolo.

On the road going up Antipolo is this monstrosity of a “hotel”. I suspect it is owned by the same owners of Camelot Hotel in QC.

You Know, I…

This morning after parking at Basement Level 4, I went to the gym, got to my locker and dropped off my stuff before I realized I forgot my cellphone in the car. But since I knew I was coming back to Orlando after working out I decided to leave it there. After work out I was already standing in front of Orlando before I realized I had left my car keys in my locker. So I hurriedly went back and retrieved it. Then on the elevator going up to the office I remembered my phone was still in the car.


I’d like to think it’s not age that’s the cause. Perhaps I just had too much on my mind this morning that I kept forgetting stuff because I was distracted (with work mostly). But really what I wanted to point out was that… what was I talking about?

Thursday, May 11, 2006

When My Sked’s Toxic And I’m At A Loss As To What To Blog…

…I post a TEST!

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.
How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Monday, May 08, 2006

Food Trip

My sister, brother and I decided to go on a food trip to Chinatown on Sunday. So at 10:30am we drove to Ongpin Street, parked the car and started walking around.
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Our first stop was the Binondo Church. I found the huge paintings on the ceiling interesting. But what really caught my eye were four-sided fans along the center aisle.
* * * * *

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Lunch time at the estero: beside this ugly-looking, foul-smelling small river is a row of turo-turo restaurants that serve delicious food made from the freshest ingredients.
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We had crispy chicken, steamed prawns, steamed lapu-lapu shanghai rice and nido soup. Delicious!
* * * * *

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Next stop, Sta. Ana church.
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Near the entrance is an interesting cross that’s engraved with scenes from the four mysteries of the rosary.
* * * * *

At Carriedo, I saw this sign for Hotel Paradis.
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At Quiapo Church plaza...
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I’m actually happy that the plaza was cleaned up, but I’m saddened by the renovation inside the church. I don’t particularly like the ceiling—it’s too madumihin.
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Near the Quiapo church is Globe café where they serve fresh lumpia. They have this crushed garlic that adds zing and punch in your fresh lumpia. The lumpia doesn’t look appetizing, but trust me it’s delicious.
* * * * *

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At a street near Carriedo on our way back to the car we passed by the electronics street where we saw all these videoke machines waiting to be sold—so they can wreck havoc on quiet neighborhoods in the future.
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We then went to Ramon Lee where we took out a half-order of their specialty—fried chicken. Their chicken doesn’t actually taste fried but more grilled, like Andok’s lechon manok. Mmm! Since we were still full we decided that Ramon Lee’s chicken would be dinner.
* * * * *

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After walking around the streets on a very hot Sunday afternoon, we decided we needed to cool down. So it was goodbye Ongpin and on to Harbor View beside CCP where we had ice cream in Icebergs.
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I really found the picture above funny and irritating at the same time. There is absolutely no interaction between the female talents and the products. Oh sure, the products were shot nicely. But how come there are no spoons in the picture? You can imagine what the girls are laughing about:

“How are we going to eat our ice cream? Hihihi!”

“Wth our hands, hihihi!”

“I didn’t know ice cream was kamayan pala, ahahaha!”
* * * * *

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Afterwards we checked out the Yacht Club area just outside Harbor View, where we were lucky enough to witness the arrival of the ferry from Corregidor.

This food trip was quite a success. We plan to do it again with our mom when she comes back from Bohol.

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