Saturday, July 29, 2006

Waiter, Pa-Order!

New item on the menu of Pata King:

Patayinsasindaksibarbara – pata y inasal, sabaw ng sinigang na isda, kilawin with sili, barbeque, sinugba na okra

Friday, July 28, 2006

Take A Peek At My Pics

I have decided to open a Multiply account to post my pictures there. I find it easier to post pics in Multiply because I can just click-and-drag the files. It’s that easy! Anyway, the McMultiply site is here:

Or you can click on the link found on the McLinks portion.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Some people asked me why I don’t like “Seasons Of Love”. I suppose they haven’t read the comments page of that particular episode (“Pet Sound Peeve”) so for their sake I’m posting a portion of it here. And I’ll add some stuff that I forgot to mention earlier just for clarity’s sake.

* * * * *

NELZ: I understand what you mean. Some people I know can be so O.A. when they sing this piece! Nakakainis at ang sarap sabunutan lalo na pag feel na feel niya yung song. Nakakakilabot ever.

Just a piece of info: I sang this song for three seasons in choir, and according to the choral music piece that we used, it's supposed to be sung “hushed but strong.” I guess for some singers, the “hushed but strong” sounded like earnestness. ;-)

On our last performance of the song, we had to “pull back” from singing it earnestly [meaning not yodelling out the word “love” in the high registers] and let it just let it flow. It sounded great, in my opinion.

And yes, I abhor the dance version. ;-)

McVIE: That’s precisely it! “Hushed but strong” should be the appropriate approach to the song.

My friend and theater director Ricky A. and I had this discussion about art, specifically on acting. He doesn’t like how some actors have misunderstood the idea of Method Acting and of Eric Morris. Some actors think that an unbridled show of anger or fear or sadness, as long as it’s truthful, is already considered “good acting.” Ricky disagrees with that.

For him, emotion has to be filtered through a rational and conscious choice by the actor on how to release and express said emotion. Meaning, it’s not enough that you are angry when the scene calls for your character to be angry; that’s not art. Art is when there’s creative control over that anger, an acting choice that the actor picks to add layer to that anger: Is it anger with fear? Anger with disillusionment? Or anger masking a deeper emotion of, say, lust? For Ricky, that kind is the more skillful kind of acting, instead of straightforward, full-tilt, one-layer of emotion.
Because in reality, except for babies, people often do not show just one pure emotion—people’s reactions are a mixture of different emotions.

So going back to the song: singing it earnestly renders it OA because it’s just adding a same layer. Whereas there’s an interesting counter-point to the simple earnest lyrics if the song was sung hushed (but strong).

So going back to the song: singing it earnestly renders it OA because it’s just adding a same layer. Whereas there’s an interesting counter-point to the simple earnest lyrics if the song was sung hushed (but strong).

It was a great choice for your choir to “pull back” and just let the song flow. That way the words will speak for themselves; if sung earnestly, it would be like the words were underlined, italicized and printed in bold all at once! With matching exclamation point! Hindi ba OA? Hindi ba nakaka-irita?

The Newest Fastfood Joint

If an idle mind is the devil’s playground, then idle creatives are the devil’s Disneyland.

Last night Leigh and I together with our good friend Pris were having dinner when Pris announced she was going to Tapa King to buy food to bring home to her family. And I wondered out loud: “What if we just put up our own business, a fastfood joint? Pero ang paangalan, Pata King.”

That started it all.

In no time we came up with a menu list for Pata King:

Pata Tim – the flagship meal, like in Tapa King
Pata Timmy – our equivalent of Tapa Queen, where the pata is sweet and spicy
Pata Teen – our Tapa Prince equivalent, pata is sweet

Patabayan – or Pata Ng Bayan, bulk order na pang-fiesta
Patago – or Pata-To-Go, our take-out / delivery service

Patani – pata at mani (regular)
Patama – pata at mani (spicy)
Patapon – sisig made from bits of pata
Patagalan – pata at isang galon ng Añejo Rum

Patambok – pata, mammon, palabok (merienda meal)
Patak-patak – pata at kanin lang
Patampata – pata and more pata (eat-all-you-can; after a while, nakakapagod kainin)
Patas – pata at patatas (with side dish)
Pataas – pata at gatas (with drink)
Patatas – pata, patatas, at gatas (with side dish and drink)
Patanong – pata ‘n talong
Patalbog – pata, talong, binatog (with dessert pa)
Patapos – pata, pusit
Patalikod – pata, latik at ubod
Patalamak – pata, laing, sinamak
Patakas – pata, kamote, sayote
Pataksil – pata, kilawin with sili
Patapaking – pata, tapa, kilawin, saging

Pataygutom – pata y gulay, tomato (pa-healthy)
Patatkins – patang pang-Atkins Diet
Patalim – pata at liempo (pang-cardiac arrest)
Patalinhaga – pata, litson, at hamon sa gata (for more cardiac arrest)
Oro, Pata, Mata – thrice-golden fried pata (even more cardiac arrest)

Tapatan – tapang pata (pantapat sa Tapa King)
Lipatan – liempo, pata, ginataan
Apatan – pang-apat na patang pampulutan
Garapata – gata ng rambutan sa pata (garnished with bits of rambutan skin for that garapata look)
Pataykambataka – pata y kambing, bagoong, talong, kamatis
PatalsikinsiGMA – pata, talong, sibuyas, kinilaw with sili, goto, malunggay, atsara

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A Babaw Episode

Finally got me a new pair of sports shoes. My old Nike was already showing lots of wear and tear, and finally a part in the right shoe snapped. Doesn’t look cool in the gym. So time for me to get a new pair.

I immediately went to Nike Park because I’m so brand-conscious when it comes to shoes. I like shoes that are mega-comfortable to my feet and so far the ones that really satisfied me are Nike for sport shoes and Rockport for leather shoes.

So I was looking around and of course my eyes fell on this pair which was prominently displayed. It was the new Nike Free. I tried on a pair and damn it was so comfortable! Nike Free was designed to mimic being barefoot, the idea behind it being the athletes before who trained barefoot had stronger legs and feet. The shoe moves with your feet, not the other way around. Plus it really breathes. So you can wear very thin socks or go barefoot in them.
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* * * * *

Another thing I bought was this Magnetic Poetry set. I’m not really a poet; I have a hard time writing poetry and express myself better in prose. But this toy/tool can also come in handy in my job, so I decided to shell out one thousand plus pesos for it.

The idea is simple. Taking the cue from magnetic stuff stuck on refrigerators, they’ve created magnets with words on them plus a metallic poetry stand. The idea is to just allow yourself to put words together in whatever way you like on the stand.

Sometimes even just putting two words that start with the same letter (alliteration) can conjure up an image and spark a creative connection in one’s mind. So far I’ve strung the following words together: slather sound, giggle girl, popsicle prison, slip speak, lizard lounge, and plump paradise. I’m just waiting for a spark.

Still it’s a fun and relaxing thing to have on one’s desk. I can just reach over and play with words—literally. Or my AEs might find a better use for it and start posting messages, reminders or (ick!) job orders on it.
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Monday, July 24, 2006

Pet Sound Peeve

I rarely rant here in The McVie Show—heck, I rarely rant period—but please indulge me in letting off a bit of steam regarding a particular pet peeve. I know I’ll be stepping on some bleeding hearts-on-their-sleeves type of viewers. But frankly this is about taste, and in taste there’s no dispute. Unless you have no taste, in which case you wouldn’t be viewing The McVie Show in the first place.

I really dislike the song “Seasons Of Love” from the musical Rent. Okay, okay, that’s not exactly accurate so let me expound. In and of itself the song’s okay, though not exactly my cup of tea (the hook line “five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes” really grates by the third verse). But the melody is immediately catchy, a must for any good pop song. Plus I agree with the general sentiment of the song, that the measure of a man is in the love he makes in his lifetime; or as stated by The Beatles in their inimitable way, “And in the end / the love you take / is equal to the love / you make”.

But I cannot stand how people sing the song with such unbridled earnestness. To be fair the song almost demands that it be sung with such spirit-lifting emotion that one would expect angels to swoop down and lift the singer to heaven. Which is precisely my problem with that song. Earnestness is tricky to pull off; it’s already on the brink of too obvious. The words to “Seasons Of Love” are already quite earnest; singing them earnestly pushes the song off the cliff and into obviousness.

This problem of mine is compounded when the dance version is played in Bed. The sight of a roomful of faggots gyrating and singing so reverential and so irony-free to “Seasons-with-a-thumping-beat” makes my skin crawl. Every time.


Maybe the song really just doesn’t resonate with me in any level. Anyway, if you’re a fan of the song, this won’t change your opinion of the song. And anything you write on its defense won’t change mine either, so don’t bother.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

An Invitation To Vogue

(click on the image if you want a larger view)

I told Dave he needs his flyers copy-checked by a copywriter—nakalimutan ilagay kung anong oras ng shoot! It’s from 5 to 9pm.

If you’re interested… (sings) Let’s go na, let’s go na, let’s go na with Guingona! And no, you don’t have to take off your shirt if you don’t want to.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Shonga Awards: Candidate No. 2

To be honest I did not expect a contribution from the viewers this early, but here it is, the first! A viewer who will remain anonymous for obvious reasons sent the following story.

But before that: if you are a fan of Jessica Zafra from waaay back, you may remember an Arnel Salgado, he of “The Fireless Inferno” ummm, fame. Don’t remember him? “She was beautiful like the flowers consumed by fire, her love was sweet that made me suffer from diabetes, she was warm I almost felt the heat of her caress now. Her lips were smooth and her tongue was very luscious like the meat of a beef.” Now you remember! Anyway, this next candidate may not just be a candidate for the Shonga Awards, he may very well be a candidate for a scholarship to the Salgadian School of Literature.

Candidate No. 2: Mr. Copy All

This guy was already going to retire after so many years in a particular company. On his last day, he sent the following email to his officemates:

Guess it’s time to bid you adieu! My stay with our valued company is nearing its end this month so, I’m in a kinda swirly feelings now. Is it true I’m leaving (name of company) after (x) good long years of hard work, perseverance and dedication? Ha, ha, ha ! a funny feeling sets in to me. But I do love this company and my fulfilling history with it...................“It has taken my youth !” Ha, ha, ha ! Bet you know my feelings are at this very moment, Hooooh! (Teary eyed # * @ ö ! ) This is really HARD !

To my Staff, indeed you gave me a headache. But I know you’ll agree that we learn a lot from each other. And truly I valued all the support and your dedication to your work. It will lead you to greater heights if you always strive for performance.

It has been a SWELL experience working with you. All my encounters with you have been a learning process that have enriched me and I give you my gratitude.

* * * * *

Okay, okay, okay, take a deep breath now. Yes, that’s it.

Now, bad grammar is not really stupidity; it’s more a lack of education. But what elevates this guy to the Shonga Awards level is that he sent the email to everyone, as in everyone, in the company. If you’re going out with a bang, make sure it’s the right kind of bang.

Which leads me to offer you, my dear viewers, a good rule of thumb to live by: Before you press the ‘Send to All’ button on your email, THINK x NUMBER OF TIMES before you do; “x” being the number of people who will receive said email.

So, ladies and gentlemen, Candidate Number Two!

The Shonga Awards: Candidate No. 1

Starting today, The McVie Show will feature candidates to the Shonga Awards. The Shonga Award is given to an individual who has demonstrated a particularly exceptional case of stupidity, or in other words, sho-shonga-shonga sha. Said case of stupidity may range from the simple and sublime to the complex and obvious. Also, said individual may not necessarily be generally described as stupid; in fact, even an Einstein can be a candidate for the Shonga Awards. Everyone has at one time or another experienced a sudden loss of IQ or common sense. That makes everyone a potential candidate for a Shonga Award.

If you know of anyone qualified for, or want to nominate a candidate to the Shonga Awards, just email me at the complete narration. And I’ll feature it here in The McVie Show. Please take note that only shonga moments that were personally witnessed or experienced are allowed to be nominated; hearsay and second-hand sources (such as seeing it on TV) do not count. Thus George Bush is spared of the award (unless someone from the White House is watching The McVie Show). You may also nominate yourself if you’ve committed a faux pas worthy of a Shonga Award. When enough candidates have been selected, we will vote for the First Shonga Awards.

Make this world a happier and brighter one by laughing at mankind’s examples of stupidity. May we learn from as well as be entertained by them. C’est la vie.

Candidate No. 1: The Caltex gas attendant

Driving home last night, I decided to gas up at a Caltex station along Aurora Blvd. As I drove up, a gas attendant approached my car. I brought out a five hundred-peso bill and showed it to him as he reached my side. He stretched out his palm; I paused a bit just to make sure he saw I was giving him money, then placed the bill on his palm. I said to him, “Five hundred.” He took the bill then asked me, totally serious: “Magkano po?”

Shonga, istcheeeooofid, boba, gaga, not listening kasi eh went through my mind first before I decided to point wordlessly at the bill he was holding. He looked at it, shook his head and walked sheepishly towards the pump.

Ladies and gentlemen, Candidate Number One!

Monday, July 17, 2006

‘Til Bruce Do Us Part

I am not really a big fan of weddings and marriage in general. I do not believe that love “will last forever” because nothing lasts forever. Even The Hardy Boys will one day fail a case, Madonna will stop reinventing herself, and gays will stop singing “I Will Survive”. And weddings are often tedious, lengthy and costly affairs.

But last Saturday I attended a ceremony to celebrate the union of Norman and Nelz, or NormaNelz as I’d like to call them. They are already married, thanks to the more open-minded people of Canada. But to Nelz’s family and friends, there were no proper goodbyes and congratulations; when he left for Canada, he was supposed to come back after three months; instead, he got hitched and stayed there. So last Saturday was the opportunity for his family and friends to achieve closure, congratulate the couple, and create memories.

Oh yeah, create memories.

I asked the wedding coordinator, “What kind of ceremony is this going to be? It can’t be religious, because our religion does not allow it. It can’t be legal, because our laws say it’s illegal. So what is it?” And he answered, “It’s a production number!”

Ah yes, create memories.

The worst one for me was when Leigh and I were placed in a table with two other guys who will remain anonymous. They were the best of friends for eight years; two years ago they had a major falling out. They have not talked to each other since. So to be stuck in a table with them was major awkwardness for me; not to mention having Leigh sit through that. (I don’t blame the organizers who placed us in one table; I don’t think they knew. And even if they did, I guess they had no choice.)

The best one for me was when the person officiating the ceremony turned to address the couple and said, “Norman, Bruce…” and stopped. Everyone’s breathing stopped also for a second. Then I saw Norman giggle. Later when I was congratulating the couple, I told them, “My next blog entry will be entitled, ‘Til Bruce Do Us Part.”

I was also asked to provide music for the occasion. Before I had a love-hate relationship with being asked to play DJ in parties; on the one hand, it’s while everyone’s having fun, I’m too busy working to enjoy the party. Plus I had to lug around a suitcase full of CDs. But last year I discovered the joys of DJ-ing using the iPod. Last Saturday evening I discovered an even more joyful way to DJ: using my iBook laptop!

Here are some pics:

They are the dancing queens, feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!

The happy couple, “happy” in both sense of the word.

Who was this guy? Nobody knew who he was, and he never appeared that night. Could it be a typo? Or could he actually be Bruce?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Dead Topic

A close colleague and friend was recently diagnosed as having stage-3 cancer. That’s akin to saying: “Sorry, you’ve been voted out of the Big Brother house. You have several hours to prepare your things.”

Death is never an easy thing to face. Fortunately for me I’m at an age wherein I’ve had several encounters with Mr. Death up close.

When I was in 3rd year high school my grandmother died a day after Christmas; she was 93 already and having conversations with people long dead. But a day after she kicked the bucket, my four-year-old brother followed her to the afterlife in a sudden cardiac arrest due to a virus in his kidney. The old folks rationalized his death by saying we now have an angel in the family and that my brother followed my lola so that she’ll have a companion on their way to heaven. Whatever.

Then when I was in first year college my best friend got intimate with a taxicab while he was crossing Quezon Avenue in front of Sto. Domingo Church. In front of a church! He died a few minutes after being brought to a nearby hospital. Both of his legs were broken in several places and his head had smashed through the windshield; if he had survived he’d probably not be able to walk or talk at all.

When I was in my first agency one of my closest friends was a fellow writer whose boyfriend was also a close friend and my AE. She would drag me to Greenbelt during her lunchtime shopping sprees; I often end up carrying her shopping bags. She and her boyfriend would invite me on their out-of-town beach trips; I was their “legitimate excuse” so that her parents will allow her to go on long trips with her boyfriend. They eventually got married and moved out of the country when he was assigned to Malaysia. There she gave birth to two kids one after the other. After her second child, she was diagnosed with cancer. She died without seeing her any of her wonderful kids go beyond toddler age.

That’s really part of growing old; you get to rub elbows with Death more often. So you have to figure out how to cope with Death. And the way I look at it is that Death is very much a part of Life. The moment we’re conceived in our mother’s womb, our countdown to Death begins. Also, for some people they’d rather that Death pays them a surprise visit. Then there are those who are lucky enough to be told when their deadlines are, so that gives them time to prioritize their remaining time.

In the end it’s really the quality, not quantity, of time spent with your life that will matter the most.

Haaay. Tama na si Death, masyado na ang exposure niya dito sa McVie Show. Hindi siya fun. Next episode, please.

Monday, July 10, 2006

I’m Now A Bottom…

Last June 26 I received an email from Dax, who asked me to promote a line of t-shirts called Bottom-Less Shirts. It’s a small venture he and his three other friends have embarked on for the gay community.

Well, feeling Sharon C kasi ako, so I told him I’m very willing to promote their shirts and blogsite—but only after I check out the merchandise. Kasi, like the Megastar, I’d want to endorse (endorse daw o!) products that I believe in.

Unfortunately it took me a while to haul my ass over to the Top&Bottom shop in Malate (located just above O Bar at the corner of Orosa and Nakpil Streets). But last Friday I was able to go and get me a t-shirt. It was the one I fell in love with when I first saw it at the Bottom-less blogsite ( and I told myself, “I’m gonna get that!” Unfortunately they only had a size “small” that night (I was hoping for a “medium” dahil ayokong magmukhang suman na naman). Still, pupuwede na ang small, so getch-kiti-getch na lang akesh.

So… tah-dah!
It’s sooo cool, I’m calling my shirt “Bottom-Less Iced Tee.” Mwhek-hek-hek!

This is their official blurb:

If there is one thing that keeps the gay community resilient and unwavering, despite the countless acts of discrimination and rejection we face in life, it’s our pride.

Pride has fueled us to fight for our place in this world. It is a deeper love for self- -an acceptance, appreciation and a celebration of who and what we are. Something we should live by every single day.

Now, gay men can wear their pride on their sleeves with the Bottom-Less shirts—statement tops that allow you to celebrate pride—fashionably, of course. It’s fashion with a purpose—to nurture and make pride stronger within the gay community.

The brainchild of four friends who felt that there aren’t enough gay statements shirts that are witty, humorous, and endearingly campy—the Bottom-Less shirts were born.

With statements ranging from subtle to screaming, gay men will surely find a shirt that best captures their personality. For sure, the Bottom-less shirts will never be at a loss for words when it comes to spreading pride.

Bottom-Less shirts. Because every bottom needs a top.

Go now and buy your Bottom-Less Shirts at Top&Bottom in Malate. Or visit their blogsite to see their other shirts.

Or click on the link found in the McLinks. ☺

Friday, July 07, 2006

Cyber Toilet

Our office is on the 20th floor, and we share it with three other companies. One of them is, we suspect sans proof, a call center servicing either China or Korea. They have these foreign boys and girls coming in and out, always talking with no hint of English whatsoever in their sentences, speaking either in Chinese or in Korean, we’re not sure. Yup, that’s how gibberish they sound when they speak.

Anyway, one day I was in the restroom, washing my hands after taking a leak. Suddenly a guy who looks like he’s from the call center entered the restroom—carrying a laptop. I thought, “Maybe he’s on his way to a meeting, and he just decided to take a leak first.” He proceeded to enter a cubicle. “Or a dump.”

When I stepped out of the restroom, I almost bumped into another one of them as he rushed to go inside the restroom—also carrying a laptop!

My eyebrows raised to the high heavens, I wondered if there was a great free wi-fi service in that restroom that I don’t know about. Talk about giving new meaning to the term, “dumping of files.”

So I recounted the incident to the guys in the office. One of them said, “Nag-download ng porno yung mga yun!”

Ah, maybe that explains it.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Things That Make Me Go, “Hmmm”

I stumbled upon the following on a guy’s profile in G4M (a gay site). He insisted he didn’t want to meet any mamby-pamby guys; he preferred really masculine-acting men who do not “fall in love” with other men. What’s interesting is that he also gives a definition of the labels being currently used right now by people who think like him:

1. DISCREET GAY - mga bakla na nag pupumulit maging lalaki. na kahit anong gawin nila di sila na lilibugan o mag kakagusto sa babae. Nag aastig astigan lang dahil di alam ng magulang na bakla sila. Pero pag mag isa na sa kwarto... nag laladlad
example: PIOLO P.... RUSTOM P (pero ngayun di na sya discreet)

2. GAY OR HOMOSEXUAL - eto ang mga bakla na na kahit bata pa alam na nila na bakla sila. kahit ng bata pa kilos babae na. pag nagsalita babae... pag nag lakad babaeng babae. kumekendeng. proud proud sya sa buong mundo na bakla sya.

3. DISCREET BISEXUAL - eto ang mga silahis na nag kakagusto o na lilibugan sa kapwa lalake at babae. kahit saan mo tingnan na angulo very straight. at wala silang ilaladlad dahil normal ang pagiging maton o astig nila. walang na kakaalam sa kanilang kalokohan.
example: mahirap mag bigay

4. BISEXUAL - sila ang mga tipong silahis na attracted din sa babae at lalake pero ang iba ay malalamya kumilos.

5. GOY - eto ang bagongkatauhan. sila ang mga STRAIGHT GUY na hindi na iinlove sa kapwa lalake. sila ang tipong hanggang jakol lang at romansa. Hindi sila chumuchupa. hindi sila kumakantot ng kapwa lalake nila.

It’s fascinating how people try to put a name to something in order to understand it.

Now, this “goy” label—obviously it’s a mix of the words “gay” and “boy”. My question is: why would a straight guy want to engage in mutual masturbation and, uhm, “romansa” (what’s that, soulful lips-to-lips kissing? fondling of nipples—by hand? by lips?) with a fellow guy? Unless they’re both in prison or they’re 10-years old and curious of bodily functions, or there’s a pressing economic need (in other words, sex-for-hire), then I don’t see any reason why a straight guy would willingly go out of his way to do something sexual with another guy. If it’s not a preference, then… why? What for?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Part 2

I swear, ComicLife is the BOMB!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

My First Comic

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