Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Shonga Awards: Candidate No. 1

Starting today, The McVie Show will feature candidates to the Shonga Awards. The Shonga Award is given to an individual who has demonstrated a particularly exceptional case of stupidity, or in other words, sho-shonga-shonga sha. Said case of stupidity may range from the simple and sublime to the complex and obvious. Also, said individual may not necessarily be generally described as stupid; in fact, even an Einstein can be a candidate for the Shonga Awards. Everyone has at one time or another experienced a sudden loss of IQ or common sense. That makes everyone a potential candidate for a Shonga Award.

If you know of anyone qualified for, or want to nominate a candidate to the Shonga Awards, just email me at joelmcvie@yahoo.com the complete narration. And I’ll feature it here in The McVie Show. Please take note that only shonga moments that were personally witnessed or experienced are allowed to be nominated; hearsay and second-hand sources (such as seeing it on TV) do not count. Thus George Bush is spared of the award (unless someone from the White House is watching The McVie Show). You may also nominate yourself if you’ve committed a faux pas worthy of a Shonga Award. When enough candidates have been selected, we will vote for the First Shonga Awards.

Make this world a happier and brighter one by laughing at mankind’s examples of stupidity. May we learn from as well as be entertained by them. C’est la vie.

Candidate No. 1: The Caltex gas attendant

Driving home last night, I decided to gas up at a Caltex station along Aurora Blvd. As I drove up, a gas attendant approached my car. I brought out a five hundred-peso bill and showed it to him as he reached my side. He stretched out his palm; I paused a bit just to make sure he saw I was giving him money, then placed the bill on his palm. I said to him, “Five hundred.” He took the bill then asked me, totally serious: “Magkano po?”

Shonga, istcheeeooofid, boba, gaga, not listening kasi eh went through my mind first before I decided to point wordlessly at the bill he was holding. He looked at it, shook his head and walked sheepishly towards the pump.

Ladies and gentlemen, Candidate Number One!

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